I just learned of Rita's passing from a former colleague at Della Femina, where I got my first copywriting job. Rita was one of the most dynamic, brilliant women I've ever met. She was so kind to me and taught me so much. I can still hear her infectious laugh and feel that joy. My deepest condolences to her family.

My Aunt Rita from Nephew Justin Murphy

I would like to take a moment to talk about what Rita meant to me. While I didn’t get a chance to live with aunt Rita and uncle Phil like Rachelle the moments we had together we’re magical. My dad and I would drive up to the farm here from MD every year in august. This was before google maps so we got lost a few times on our way and he would have to break out the map book and find his way back. Sema would be in the back seat asking Stanley why he got us lost but hey that’s Sema.

We would spend 2 weeks playing, building bonds and almost never turning on the TV. We were in the moment and present with each other. When I came back here 2 weeks ago to see Rita I felt like I was a kid all over again. Seeing the big red barns tractors and just being on the land felt nostalgic.

I haven’t seen Justin and Travis for over 10 years until yesterday. But it was like we picked up where we left off. The meals Rita made here were like they came from a Michelin restaurant. Lunch and dinner were summoned by Rita ringing a cow bell from the barn. We could be on the other side of the farm and when we heard that bell everyone would stop and run over to sit down together. So many pictures and timeless moments were made around that dinner table.

Leaving the farm was always a sad moment because what kid would want to leave this place.

The farm brought family from all over the world together. Some of the best moments of my life were made here on this farm. I tell stories now to friends and family and then I realized how truly magical this place really was.

The gift that Rita gave me was the gift of memories.

To Our Aunt Rita from Rachelle & Laura Jacoby:

Our aunt Rita didn’t live by the rules, the rules live by aunt Rita. For all of our lives we knew Rita as fearless, witty, and the most incredible chef. One of the best gifts Rita ever gave us was our bond for each other. It was up here up at the farm where we became siblings. Rita and Phil built us our own Tom Sawyer novel. This place was where I got kissed by a calf (laura) this is the place where I tried Rita’s mussels for the first time (justin) this is the place I beat justin and Travis at croquet. We have endless incredible memories here and none of it would have been possible without our aunt Rita. Personal stuff (how Rita impacted our lives).

Laura: Aunt Rita always had the best style. We would come to NYC in the summer and she would send us back to California with the most fashion forward looks for the new school year. Aunt Rita was a strong woman, who didn’t take bull shit from anyone, and I’d like to think that I learned that from her.

Rachelle: In many ways, I owe the current life that I have to my aunt Rita. Nearly 6 years ago I asked Rita if I could come live with her and Phil in New York and give the city a try. I ended up living with Rita and Phil for almost 5 months. Being a California girl, Rita and Phil taught me all about the winter.

I remember coming back one time and asking why there were white rocks in my boots and Rita couldn’t stop laughing. She said Rachelle that’s salt (but how was I supposed to know that, we don’t salt our roads in California). Rita being the incredible chef she was, taught me how to chiffonade basil, make a salad dressing from scratch, and taught me the importance of good knives. She also taught me the importance of presentation, she would say, half of eating is the way that food looks. I think about that every time I plate food. I’m grateful to Rita for many things but the thing I’m most grateful for is that if I had never moved to New York, I wouldn’t have my current life that I do or met my fiancé.

Guided by aunt Rita’s example, we can’t wait to bring our future families and children up here on the farm to make new memories around the dinner table.

Rita -

Rita was my first roommate. We shared a room growing up and we would tell each other secrets late into the night.

When we were little we would make forts out of our cribs and pretend to be royalty. Of course Rita always got to the princess and I had to be her servant.

Our parents had accents and having gone through the Holocaust made us different from our friends. We didn’t have much family, so we became our own little insular family.

So she became my mother, my confessor, my mentor. We had many adventures together. Always her leading the way and and, me running behind to catch up.

I loved her mohair sweaters. She introduced me to the Beatles & rock and roll. She was funny and witty. She was my big sister.

I quote her more than anyone else in my life. She made me laugh more than anyone. She was my mentor.

She taught me about food and how important it was to make it look beautiful.

She taught me about good coffee - grounded just the way it should be.

We lived together on Foxhall Rd in Washington DC for a year after I graduated college and we had a ball. There are too many stories to tell. And too many stories I can’t tell you in front of my children!

And when my husband-to-be, Marc, came to visit, Rita locked us in a room and said, “Just do it!” ! She loved you, Marc, and knew you were right for me. And 37 years later she was right!

Then after Foxhall we each went our separate ways for adventure and our careers. Rita to NY and me to California. Even then we were a bi-coastal family. A tradition my children have insisted on carrying on.

Rita was my confessor, my surrogate mother. Rita was me on steroids. We look alike. Or so folks say. We don’t but l let them have their fantasies. She certainly got the lips in the family. Those voluptuous juicy lips with her signature lipstick. And she taught me about the value of a good lipstick case.

But what I am most grateful to my big sister for is creating this wonderful space on Terry Clove with Phil and Lucy where the family can all come together and carry on the traditions and make new adventures. Thank you sis! I love you.

Sister Cherri Senders

I remember hanging out w/Rita @Saatchi (NYC ad agency) one day & we played “where upstate is ur county home?” She said it’s a very small town, you would never have heard of it, i said try me, Delaware County, I know it, near Oneonta, I know it, near Delhi, I went to HS there, actually it’s DeLancey, I was born & raised there, my Dad is ur Post Master & Gus lives next door to you. We had a good laugh over that. Rita was talented & fun. Rest In Peace Deborah Newkerk

My fond memories…..

I will always remember..

all the good times we've had together, especially our star gazing nights on the corner of Devere and Cresthaven Drive at 2 am ; skipping school (especially during our senior year); crashing parties; dancing and 'singing' along to the Beetles and Motown; your intimate instructions on how to :insert a tampon, shave my legs and pluck my eyebrows - such important girly skills that I learned from you!! You were a trendsetter in so many ways!! I worked with you at the clandestine Navy newspaper - collecting money for ads that I don't think were ever published! Watching you getting picked up in the limo by Sergio Mendes?

I keep picturing your large bedroom in the lower level and the low couches in the family room area where we would wait for you to wake up or come out of your room. My memories also include your mom in the kitchen and baking her wonderful black and white pound cake that we all devoured!

Of course, thanks to your Mom, we were given our group namesake, the ‘Ambuuushes’ - (as a result of some of us never identified) ‘making out’ in the bushes at your parent’s home. The parents meeting to discuss how ‘bad’ we were and Carol getting grounded! We also adopted the cologne Ambush as our signature scent (how sweet it is!). We were a gang of girls who knew how to have fairly innocent fun back in the day!!

Visiting you in Israel, while you and Linda were at the Mercaz. Such adventures! What a ‘trip’!!!

Our most recent reunions brought even greater laughs! And finally, our year of zoom calls that brought all of us back together again. A blessing in disguise!!

We are all with you in spirit and know that you are watching and laughing with us.

I will miss you, Rita.

Love,

Rez!!

I am devastated by this news. My sincere condolences to the Silvestri/Senders family. I adored Rita. No one else could make me laugh the way she did. I will remember her always.

My deepest condolences to Rita's family. We were roommates in the early 1970's. Rita had more energy, pizazz and guts than anyone I knew (or have known since.) On the spur of the moment she quit her job and spent the next month redecorating the house before pursuing her real interest and talent, advertising. I have so many fond memories and am so saddened by her death.

Jackie Abelman Cohen

We are so sorry for your loss. Rita was such a spirited, unique, full of passion woman. She will be in your heart, memories and loved.

Phil,

So sorry to hear of your loss. Rita was always a joy to be around, and lit up every room with her intelligence, style and passion. My thoughts are with you and your family. Matt Sherring

Phil and Family ..So sorry for your loss... Rita was a very fun, passionate person who made us all smile, Our thoughts and prayers are with you all...Much Love and Peace... Joe and Karen Gieger

We are so saddened by Rita's passing. She was a very loving, compassionate, generous and colorful woman who tackled everything, even the simple things, with a lot of passion. She was a little woman in stature who lived very large in life. We will never forget the many family gatherings and holiday dinners over the years and many conversations, some funny, heated, and the simple things of everyday living. You will be greatly missed Rita at all our family gatherings and at the farm sitting on your back porch or the family house enjoying a cocktail and the beauty all around us. Rest In Peace Rita, we love you.

Donna & John Moore

sister-in-law & brother-in-law

We can’t believe our Ambush sister has left us. We are so lucky to have had her in our lives for 60 years!! We shared our adolescence & so many other wonderful occasions together especially in the last few years. She will always be in our thoughts & hearts :Helene,Faye, Linda,Carol,Karen & Pam

I will always remember Rita's big smile, her friendliness and interest in those she was interacting with. She was a unique individual who will be missed by her family & friends. We find comfort knowing she is reunited with Nick, her parents, her father-in-law and is pain free at last. Rememer the happy times shared with her and her ready smile.

Joanne Fantry - sister of Kristen Silestri.